


This Is Who We Are

by VideoGameImagines



Series: My Weakness Is My Strength [2]
Category: Metal Gear, Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Other, Sequel, This is Super long, Tumblr Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 15:49:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7514179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VideoGameImagines/pseuds/VideoGameImagines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt Request: a sequel to my previous story, (My Weakness Is My Strength) which will pretty much pick up where that story left off. It was requested that I add a scene where Ocelot becomes very protective of the reader when she ends up in a dangerous situation; also more teasing from Kazuhira and fluff was requested. And then, this basically is just going to be the relationship developing between the two and what happens when the worst parts of yourself are revealed. At the same time still falling in love and finding love in the midst of war; or finding beauty in the darkest of places.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is Who We Are

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Hey Everyone! I’m back with another request for Metal Gear Solid and it was a request made for another Revolver Ocelot X Reader story. This was actually a request for a sequel to my previous story, (My Weakness Is My Strength) which will pretty much pick up where that story left off. It was requested that I add a scene where Ocelot becomes very protective of the reader when she ends up in a dangerous situation; also more teasing from Kazuhira and fluff was requested. And then, this basically is just going to be the relationship developing between the two and what happens when the worst parts of yourself are revealed. At the same time still falling in love and finding love in the midst of war; or finding beauty in the darkest of places. (I apologize for any slight deviations from the timeline.) Disclaimer: I do not own the Metal Gear series or its characters. As always, I hope I did this prompt justice and I hope you all enjoy!

You woke up softly with the delicate rising of the sun; you gently turned your head and looked at the sleeping man beside you. He looked so peaceful in this moment and you resisted the urge to gently run your fingers along his jawline because waking him up from his peaceful slumber would surely be a crime. Over the months since you had met and been with Ocelot he had opened up to you a great deal; he still maintained his own secrets over the work he did before the Diamond Dogs. Still, you knew that speaking of his past was difficult for him and it warmed your heart to know that he trusted you enough to open up. His life had been far from easy and in time you began to understand why he had the tendency to be cold and abrasive. You were slightly scared to admit that your feelings for Ocelot had deepened and you worried that he might not feel the same. 

It was a little strange to wake up in your own quarters with Ocelot by your side; it wasn’t as if you two hadn’t shared a bed before. However, the two of you normally stayed in Ocelot’s quarters but somehow you had been able to convince him to share your bed instead of his last night. You were still letting your eyes roam over his sleeping form, laid bare and tangled in the sheets when his gruff voice spoke up, “Didn’t your mother ever teach you that it’s rude to stare?”

You gave a breathy chuckle, “How did you… Your eyes weren’t even open! How did you even know that I was looking at you? Or that I was awake?”

He opened his grey eyes and looked at you with a newfound affection; the arm that was protectively wrapped around your waist tightened its grip before pulling you on top of his chest. You kissed him gently before resting your chin on his chest looking up at him expectantly, his gravelly voice spoke up again, “Your breathing changed and then I practically felt your eyes on me… It was a little weird.”

You pouted before moving to get off of his chest, “It is not weird… it’s romantic! And hey, you were the one that was pretending to be asleep.” As you tried to move away Ocelot tightened his hold and rolled over pinning your body to the mattress with his own before nestling his face into your hair. You groaned, “Ocelot, I need to get to work and I can’t do that if you keep me in bed all day.”

His voice was slightly muffled, “I can certainly try… your team can survive without you for a little while.”

You smiled faintly but tried to sound serious, “Adamska, you know I can’t stay here all day… as much as I may want to.” He hummed lowly when you said his name but he refused to let you go. A sudden idea popped into your head and you smiled mischievously, you turned your head lightly whispering in his ear, “Do you know what the best part of having your own quarters near the Med Bay is?” He gave another low questioning hum and you continued, “We have our own personal showers. Total privacy with no need to share unless of course we want to share them…”

The effect of your words was immediate and in quick succession Ocelot was out of bed with you thrown over his shoulder; heading straight toward your private bathroom. Something told you that you were indeed going to be late but perhaps Ocelot was right; your team could survive without you for a little while. 

It was at least an hour before you and Ocelot emerged from your quarters; both looking presentable and ready for the day ahead of you. Before you turned to walk away toward your lab you reached up to wrap your arms around Ocelot’s neck pulling him down for a sweet kiss. He responded with more fervor than you had anticipated, arms gripping your waist tightly before pinning you to the wall with his own body. You were quite used to his tendency to display dominance in your more heated moments of passion and a part of you welcomed it. Ocelot gave off a naturally abrasive and cold demeanor but at the same time he held an affectionate side that you knew he wasn’t used to expressing. It made your heart ache knowing that he was unaccustomed to giving and receiving affection but you were determined to change that.

You were getting lost in the waves of euphoric love that was somehow rough and oddly gentle until you heard a low whistle breaking the two of you out of your passionate embrace. You flushed as you heard a familiar smug chuckle, “Well what do we have here? Ocelot, I think it’s about time you let Dr. L/N get to work…” Your cheeks were practically on fire as Kazuhira continued speaking, “Besides, I trust that your late night medical examination was thorough, yet again.”

In the blink of an eye Ocelot’s cold demeanor was back as he addressed Kazuhira darkly, “What are you doing here, Miller?”

He chuckled briefly before turning serious, “You’re late for a meeting, Ocelot. We’ve found it…” Before Ocelot can ask any questions, Kazuhira utters a single word, “Sahelanthropus.”

With that single word, Ocelot’s posture went rigid, “I’ll be right there.”

Ocelot turned back to you and looked as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words, you leaned up and kissed him softly, “Go, Adamska… just be careful.” You gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and urging him to follow Kazuhira. You understood what was happening immediately; Sahelanthropus they found it and that meant that they knew where Skull Face was. You could only assume that the meeting that Ocelot was attending would be to discuss their plan of attack. With that knowledge, you walked into the Med Bay and quickly got to work treating the various sick or injured Diamond Dog soldiers; your work kept you busy and by the end of the day you were exhausted. You wanted to seek out Ocelot but you knew that he was probably busy and you didn’t want to bother him. So you opted for a warm shower before crawling into your bed and falling asleep.

The next day you received the news that Big Boss was indeed successful in his mission to bring down Skull Face; the broken remains of Sahelanthropus were proof enough. You weren’t entirely sure what they intended to do with the remains but you imagined it had something to do with research and development. You took some time away from your duties to watch the conquering heroes return and from across the platform you caught Ocelot’s eye. You gave him a bright smile and watched as his cool demeanor slip into a light twitch of a grin. After a few moments you decided that you had to return to the med bay; there was a large influx of incoming soldiers that required your attention.   
Mother Base was alive with the raucous cheers for the returning heroes, everyone that played a part in the death of Skull Face and the defeat of Sahelanthropus was being celebrated; and rightfully so. However, it wasn’t just the victorious returns of our conquering heroes; it was the returns and departures of several companies of Diamond Dog soldiers. The main threat to the Diamond Dogs had been dealt with but it would be naïve of you to assume that there were no lingering threats out there. True, Skull Face was dead but that shouldn’t give you a false sense of security because something deep within yourself told you that the trouble had only just begun. Perhaps you were being cynical but in your life you had seen the absolute worst that humanity had to offer and though you savored the victory you were still uneasy. 

The platform was absolutely buzzing with incoming soldiers and departing helicopters; you were politely trying to make your way through the crowds of soldiers. It was then that you noticed three soldiers surrounding a man in a foreign uniform; whom appeared to be rather distressed. A small voice in the back of your mind told you that something was wrong but it was silenced by the much louder voice that urged you to help this man. When you approached the man had fallen to the floor and you had to push past the soldiers in order to kneel down beside him. A fellow Diamond Dog kneeled down beside the soldier just as you reached out to place your hand on the fallen soldier’s shoulder, “Are you alright?”

In the time it took for you to breathe, the Diamond Dog soldier by your side was pushed to the floor and a combat knife was pressed to your throat. The soldier that you had meant to aid had you pinned to his chest as he hoisted you both up to a standing position. You tried to remain calm as the soldier behind you wildly jerked around looking from soldier to soldier as a crowd began to draw towards the spectacle. You saw Big Boss and Kazuhira shuffling towards the front of the crowd and they were closely followed by Ocelot who looked terrified once he took in the scene in front of him. Ocelot made a move to step forward but your attacker saw this as a threat and moved the knife from the base of your throat to press the tip of the knife to your neck; the knife was hovering above your carotid artery. There was desperation in the man’s voice, “Stop! Don’t come any closer or I swear to God that I will kill them!”

You threw your hand out trying to signal Ocelot to stand down and he did albeit hesitantly as you saw his hand flex toward one of the guns at his side. The knife resumed its original position at the base of your throat and every breath caused the cold metal of the knife to dig into the skin of your neck. You needed to diffuse the situation as quickly as possible, “Hey, what is your name, soldier?” 

The man behind you tightened his grip on the knife and you felt the sharpened metal edge press firmly enough into your throat to break the delicate skin there. It was a minor cut but you felt the warm trickle of blood rolling down your neck just the same. The soldier growled, “Shut up! Did I say that you could talk?”

Your voice never betrayed the fear that was slowly building inside of you, “No, but I deserve to know why you’re holding me hostage. If I’m going to die then I would like to know what it is I’m dying for. Why are you doing this?”

His voice began to shake, “He’s going to kill me! You’re going to take me back and he’ll treat me as a traitor! He’ll torture and kill me just like he did to the rest of my company!”

He was rattled and you needed to calm him down, “Who is trying to kill you? Who would treat you like a traitor?” The man quivered but remained silent, “Listen, soldier, you need to let me help you. Otherwise, this situation isn’t going to end well for one or both of us. Let me help you.”

The grip on his knife loosened marginally, “Wilson…”

You were confused, “Wilson? Who is Wilson?”

The man became angered once again; you questioned his state of mind considering the odd shifts in moods that he was experiencing. The man roared before pressing the knife to your throat harshly, “I’m Wilson… my name is Wilson.”

You raised your hands defensively almost soothingly but you weren’t sure if he saw it from where he was standing. Your voice was as gentle as you could make it, “Ok Wilson, my name is Dr. L/N. And if I’m going to help you… you need to be honest with me. Who are you afraid of? You said, that you thought we were going to take you back and that you would be treated as a traitor. Who was going to brand you as a traitor?”

The knife that was placed at your throat began to quiver as Wilson spoke, “Skull Face… Skull Face is going to torture and kill me just like my company. God, he killed them right in front of me… if he sees me again then I’m dead!”  
How could this man not know that Skull Face was already dead? The men have been shouting about it for at least twenty minutes. You stayed calm as you spoke, “Wilson, listen to me… Skull Face is dead. The news just came in; he can’t hurt you anymore.” 

The knife pressed to your neck slackened slightly as Wilson’s trembling voice spoke up, “Really?”

You sighed in relief at the fact that he was starting to calm down, “Yes, I swear. But I can’t help you or promise that this will end well for you if you kill me so you’re going to need to let me go. Please, Wilson.” He remained silent so you urged him gently, “Wilson, I can’t give you back what he took from you but I promise you that he is gone and he can’t hurt anyone anymore. But you have to let me go, Wilson.”

It was the longest minute of your life as Wilson made his decision but soon the knife loosened from its place against your throat; then in a flurry of motion and confusion it was gone altogether. You fell forward and turned to see Quiet had disarmed Wilson before she let some of the Diamond Dog soldiers detain him. Quiet got down at eye level with you before examining your neck then looking deeply into your eyes. She didn’t have to actually speak for you to understand what she wanted to know, you nodded your head, “I’m fine… Thank you, Quiet.”

She nodded before getting up and disappearing, shortly after you heard Ocelot’s familiar voice filled with worry, “Y/N! Y/N, are you alright?”

His gloved hands cupped your cheeks and lifted your head up so that he could inspect the wound on your neck. He quickly ripped off the red scarf from around his neck and you attempted to stop him, “Ocelot, I’m fine… the wound is superficial. It looks worse than it actually is; it will stop bleeding soon.”

He only grunted before tying the scarf around your neck tight enough to staunch the blood flow; he then cupped your cheeks, “What the hell were you thinking, Y/N? You could have been killed…”

You heard the slight tremor in his voice so you tried to soothe him, “I’m a doctor, and my first instinct is to help… I’m sorry. But I’m fine… don’t worry.”

Suddenly you were being pulled into a crushing embrace; Ocelot’s face was pressed close to your ear, “Don’t worry? Y/N, he could have just as easily killed you. I could have lost you…”

You hated seeing him in distress but you were still both very much in public, you gently whispered in his ear, “Adamska, the soldiers are already taking notice, especially the Boss, we shouldn’t be having this conversation here. The soldiers will start talking…”

He helped you to your feet and led you through the gathering crowds who were suddenly all trying to focus their attention on anything but the two of you, “I don’t give a damn… let them talk.” You realized that Ocelot was leading you toward the med bay, he spoke quickly as he led you through Mother Base, “Besides, Miller couldn’t wait to inform the Boss; I swear he’s such a child sometimes.” When you finally made it down to medical you were led over to an examination table a little forcefully before being commanded, “Sit.”

You eyed him carefully as he quickly started gathering medical supplies, “You know that’s usually my job.” He didn’t even spare a smile as he turned around and removed the scarf from around your neck and began cleaning the cut and then bandaging it. He was so focused that he didn’t even speak. When he was finished, he began to walk away but you grabbed his hand and he stopped, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

He turned back toward you and pulled you into yet another crushing embrace, “No, I’m sorry. Y/N, I’m so sorry for not being able to protect you…” You ran your hands up and down his back before burying your face into the crook of his neck, he let out a shaky sigh, “I should have done something…”

You pulled him into a kiss a deep and passionate one; you poured all of the feelings that you had been hesitant to acknowledge and admit into that kiss. You pulled away gently and gave his cheek a peck, “No, I did this… what happened was not your fault it was mine.” This time he pulled you in for another kiss, the words tumbled out of your mouth, “I love you, Adamska. Every part of you…” You gave him another deep kiss before pulling away for real this time, “Now, I need to ask you to do something for me and then you’re going to give me that face…”

Ocelot appeared more than a little flustered, “Honestly? You just told me you loved me and you didn’t even give me a moment to take that in and respond.” You didn’t think he was capable of blushing any harder, but his stance straightened, “Y/N, I-“

You didn’t let him finish, “I need to give that soldier, the one that attacked me, a medical evaluation. I need you to have him escorted down here so I can run some tests.” You laughed at his expression, “Yeah, there’s the face…”

He grabbed your shoulders gently, “Y/N, he tried to kill you! That wasn’t even thirty minutes ago. I am not leaving you alone with that man.”

You sighed and tried to soothingly rub his shoulder, “I know and it’s fine if you want to be present during the examination but something was off with his behavior. I need to rule some things out.”

He sighed in defeat, “Fine, I don’t know what you’re expecting to find but I’ll make the call.”

You smiled softly before hopping off of the examination table and making the necessary preparations but you heard a large commotion coming from next door. You ran over to find the main floor was swarming with soldiers and medical staff alike. The mass of people appeared to be congregating around a singular figure you froze momentarily when you noticed who it was; it was Wilson the soldier from earlier. You were so surprised that you hadn’t heard your team calling out to you. Your attention quickly snapped back into the present as you began to push your way towards your patient; the med bay was too overcrowded, “If you’re not a part of the medical team then you need to leave, now! What happened to him?”

Emilia was the first to respond, “The soldiers that were attempting to detain him said that he was experiencing erratic shifts in mood and hallucinations just before he collapsed.”

You were hooking Wilson up to the monitors, “Hallucinations? What kind of hallucinations?”

Jameson who was preparing an Intravenous solution spoke up, “They said he called out saying he saw Skull Face who obviously wasn’t there. They said he began to panic and then he became physically violent.”

You were checking all of his vitals when you noticed some anomalies, “Jesus, his temperature is skyrocketing!” You quickly leaned over your patient and checked his responsiveness, “His pupils are unresponsive. Jameson, I need you to prepare a toxicology screen…”

You didn’t get to finish your thought because Wilson began to shake violently, “He’s convulsing! Emilia… Jameson, quickly help me turn him on his side… Did anybody give him any medications or drugs of any kind?”

Jameson was doing his best to keep Wilson firmly on his side, “No drugs were administered, Dr. L/N. And there was no reported administration of drugs or medication during his transport to Mother Base.” 

You panicked when Wilson’s heart rate monitor began to beat wildly before flat lining, “He’s going into cardiac arrest?” You quickly flipped Wilson over onto his back, “Emilia, prep the defibrillator, now!” While Emilia got to work you reached for a pair of scissors; cutting through the thick cotton material of Wilson’s undershirt. 

Emilia came back shortly after and you pushed Jameson out of the way as she brought the paddles down on Wilson’s chest, “Clear!”

You waited in silence for a moment and almost silently willed the heart monitor to beep but it didn’t. The deafening sound of a flat line continued as Emilia continued to deliver electric shocks to Wilson’s unresponsive heart; after each successive jolt you waited for his heart to restart but it never did. You sighed wearily, “Cease resuscitation… time of death is 17:32.” You ripped the rubber gloves off your hands and stalked into your main office; you slammed your hands down onto your desk. Another soldier was gone because you failed to give him the care he needed. You weren’t going to let that soldier’s death be in vain; you would find out what caused this.

Two hours and one extensive post-mortem toxicology report later and you had your answers but it was a less than optimal result. The steady knock on your office door caused you head to snap up, “Please, come in… Thank you for stopping by gentleman.”

Kazuhira and Ocelot both filed into your office, Kazuhira was wearing a smirk, “Gentlemen? There’s no need to be so formal; considering how well you two know each other.”

You laughed lightly, genuinely appreciating Miller’s attempt to lighten the mood, “Good Lord, Miller… you’re incorrigible.”

Ocelot cleared his throat, “The Boss needed a little more time to recover from his mission… so we’ll need to brief him once he’s feeling better. What did you find that was so urgent?”

You sighed before grabbing the file from your desk and handing it to Ocelot, “This is Wilson’s toxicology report; it was processed post-mortem after he was brought in earlier this afternoon. I’m sure you’re both well aware of his odd behaviors from earlier; the violent outbursts and intense mood swings.” You sighed once more, rubbing your forehead before looking between both men, “When Wilson was admitted to the med bay a few hours ago, the soldiers who carried him in reported that he was experiencing more ferocious mood swings, as well as, vivid hallucinations about Skull Face. Coupled together with the unresponsive pupils, fever, convulsions, and ultimately the cardiac arrest; I was at my wits end trying to figure out a cause of death.”

Both Kazuhira and Ocelot eyed you cautiously, Kazuhira spoke up, “And what exactly did you come up with?”

You motioned to the report in front of them, “At the time of his death, Wilson had a very high level of Atropa belladonna in his system, which is most commonly known as Belladonna.”

Ocelot put the pieces together first, “He was poisoned? How long before the outburst was he poisoned?”

You shook your head, “I can’t be completely certain but with the amount of the substance found in his system possibly an hour. If it was ingested orally it could have taken less time but considering our position that’s highly unlikely. Besides, this man was a trained soldier; I doubt that he would be ingesting random berries.”

Kazuhira shifted a little uncomfortably, “So you’re suggesting that this was a direct injection? Is there any way that he could have been injected before he was extracted and brought to Mother Base?”

You sighed because this is where it all got a little dicey, “The chances are incredibly slim… whoever injected him with the poison would have needed to know that this particular soldier would be extracted and not shot on sight. The amount of foresight needed to succeed with that plan is too high. And not to mention the fact that Atropa belladonna isn’t native to Afghanistan; you can find it in some parts of Europe and Africa but nowhere near our current position. The particular poison and the precision of the occurrence could suggest a close quarter attack.”

Kazuhira looked taken aback, “What are you saying, Y/N?”

You sighed, “What I’m saying is that perhaps, someone on Mother Base isn’t who they say they are.”

Kazuhira gave you an odd look, “Are you suggesting the presence of a Double Agent, Y/N?”

Again this is where it gets even harder, “I’m not confirming or denying that possibility. Perhaps someone on base was trying to make an attempt on the Boss’ life in retaliation for the death of Skull Face? Or maybe it’s just a scare tactic? The Diamond Dogs have a lot of enemies… And we had a lot of soldiers arriving and leaving Mother Base today. Someone could have-”

Ocelot jumped in and eerily finished your sentence, “Easily slipped in, administered the poison, and then just left on another helicopter.”

Kazuhira looked confused, “But Why? What do they gain from that?”

Ocelot looked over to you but you motioned for him to continue, “It’s a scare tactic, Kazuhira. Meant to ruffle our feathers; implying that our fortress isn’t as impenetrable as we think.”

You spoke quickly, “Point being, that it could have been a great many things and going forward we should practice more caution.”

Ocelot suddenly seemed to remember something, “Wait, Y/N… this plant grows in Africa?”

You tilted your head in confusion, “Yes, it is native to Central and Northern Africa… Why... does that mean something to you?”

Ocelot turned to Kazuhira, “Do you remember what Dr. Emmerich said? During his interrogation?”

You paled at his words… interrogation? You didn’t like the sound of that and Ocelot never mentioned that he had been interrogating Dr. Emmerich. You however, did know that Dr. Emmerich had been extracted and brought to Mother Base; his presence was kept largely hidden from the rest of the team which may have been done due to his work and past affiliations.

Miller seemed to visibly stiffen at Ocelot’s words, “Cipher… he said that Cipher was working on something big in Central Africa. Damnit, now the bastards are trying to play mind games with us?” With another grunt of displeasure Kazuhira was stomping out of your office and down the hall. 

You weren’t sure that you were supposed to hear any of what had been exchanged between Ocelot and Kazuhira; that thought was only confirmed when Ocelot turned to you. His gaze was cold as he gripped your shoulder, “Keep this quiet for now, Y/N. No one outside of this room should know what was said here or the results of Wilson’s toxicology report… Do you understand?”

The sudden shift in his mood and behavior was frightening but you squeezed his hand reassuringly, “Of course, Ocelot. You can trust me…” In the blink of an eye he turned on his heel and made his way out of the med bay. It had been a while since Ocelot had been so callous with you and it worried you. You weren’t able to think on Ocelot’s behavior further because Jameson came into your office; alerting you that you had more patients on the way.

Once you had finished tending to all of your patients you decided to go looking for Ocelot at his quarters but you were met by a Diamond Dog soldier when you exited the med bay. He gave you a quick salute which you reciprocated, “Dr. L/N, I was assigned to your protection detail, I’m private Bishop.”

Protection detail? Why did you suddenly need a protection detail? You nodded curtly, “Tell me Private Bishop, who ordered a protection detail for me?”

The soldier looked positively mortified, “Um, I’m not supposed to say, Dr. L/N… I’m only supposed to ensure your protection on Mother Base.” You eyed him carefully and crossed your arms, eventually Bishop sighed nervously, “Major Ocelot felt that in light of recent events… it would be wise to offer you additional protection.”

You had already suspected that this was Ocelot’s doing and now you needed to have a word with him, “Private Bishop, where might I find Major Ocelot?”

The poor man was practically squirming under your gaze, “He is currently in a meeting that he informed me would take quite a while. I was asked to escort you to your quarters, this evening.” 

You didn’t say a word as you turned and made your way towards your quarters; once there you noticed that Private Bishop had taken his post right outside your door. You had no doubt that it was also Ocelot’s idea as well but you gave Bishop a tight lipped smile and wished him well before closing and locking your door. How could Ocelot assign a protection detail for you? You were more than capable of handling yourself… He couldn’t possibly be doing this just because of the incident earlier today, could he?  
It was difficult to fall asleep that night you assumed it was because you had so much running through your mind. The events of the day had taken their toll; you were physically exhausted but your mind refused to give into the sleep that you so desperately needed. You understood little of what was exchanged between Ocelot and Kazuhira; you knew very little of Cipher and based upon Ocelot’s reaction that was very unlikely to change. His shift in behavior truly worried you; was something bothering him or was this who he truly was? You couldn’t say when exactly it happened but sleep did in fact claim you.

It had been two days since you were attacked and the revelation behind Wilson’s death and in that time you hadn’t seen Ocelot once; it was as if he was avoiding you and the silence between the two of you was maddening. However today, you along with the greater portion of the Diamond Dogs, were called to the main platform of Mother Base. There you stood, just a face amongst a sea of soldiers as you listened to Miller talk of the ever present threat. He explained that there were traitors amongst the ranks and that he was relying on his fellow soldiers to be his eyes. You’re sure that the speech was meant to inspire but it did little to put your own mind at ease; suddenly you looked past Miller and caught Ocelot’s gaze. As the speech drew to a close Ocelot wordlessly motioned to the platform behind him beckoning you to come closer.

You gently pushed through the crowd toward where you had seen Ocelot disappear; you had to stifle a scream when you felt a hand make its way to the small of your back. You spun around quickly hearing Ocelot’s gruff laughter, “Relax, Y/N, it’s only me…” 

You huffed quietly before running your hand gently along his cheek, Ocelot seemed to unconsciously lean into the touch. You couldn’t help but notice the darkening circles beneath his eyes, you chided him softly, “You haven’t been getting enough sleep… you need to take better care of yourself.”

He sighed before gruffly retorting, “Is that your professional medical opinion?”

You laughed before wrapping both of your arms around his neck, he in turn wrapped his arms around your waist, “Yes, that is in fact my professional medical opinion. You’re overworked, Major…”

It was odd how quickly Ocelot could switch from being cold and callous in one moment to warm and almost loving in the next. His smirk only grew, “What’s the suggested course of action, Doctor?”

You laughed quietly and gave a flirtatious grin, “Well I suggest at least eight hours of rest a night… in my quarters.”

Ocelot gave you a genuine smile, “Is that so? In your quarters… why is that?”

You looked up at him playfully through your lashes, “So that I can better monitor your condition, of course.” When Ocelot bends down to give you a kiss you’re surprised at how tender the kiss is; you were used to more aggressive and dominating affection from him. Your mind began to wander toward Ocelot’s behavior as of late, “Are you alright, Ocelot? I haven’t seen you in days and to top it all off you’ve assigned a protection detail for me?”

Ocelot frowned slightly, “That protection detail is for your own safety… I won’t always be there to protect you.”

That angered you and you couldn’t help the bitterness that seeped into your voice, “I don’t need to be protected! Adamska, I can take care of myself and you know that. What happened that day could have happened to anyone.” 

He nodded solemnly, “But it didn’t happen to just anyone… it happened to you.” He seemed to be struggling with what he was about to say, “I’m sorry for how I treated you it’s just who I am. I’m not used to caring for someone so deeply and having someone care for me in return. I wasn’t expecting to find that here or at any point in my life frankly.” He gripped your hands tightly and intertwined your fingers together, “I shouldn’t have pushed you away like that because… Y/N, I-”

Just then a soldier came barreling around the corner, interrupting your moment, “Major Ocelot, we have a situation on the East platform!”

Ocelot aimed a glare at the soldier, “What is the situation, soldier?”

The man cowered underneath Ocelot’s harsh stare, “We have a situation on the East platform with some of the children; it’s urgent.”

With a sigh Ocelot made his way over and you followed quickly behind when you finally reached the platform some of the soldiers explained what happened. You were all desperately trying to keep the children at bay; they were desperate to reach the fallen necklace. It killed you to deny them of that token but setting foot in that chamber would kill them or any soldier that dared to go down there, in an instant. When Big Boss showed up he had to be restrained as well; it was noble of him to volunteer but it was a fool’s errand. The concentration of the chlorine gas was too potent and even a single breath would ensure a painful end.

Suddenly, Quiet flew by you and jumped down into the room below before anyone could make a move to stop her. You ran toward the railing and tried to find her through the toxic haze but it was useless. Your lungs began to burn and you quickly stepped backwards coughing violently through the thick acrid air. In a flash, Quiet appeared before you and the small crowd of gathered soldiers; pendent gripped loosely in her hand. Her skin was covered in chemical burns and for the moment you were astonished that she had survived. Your surprise lasted only a moment as the pendent slipped through her weakening grasp; you rushed forward to catch her as she fell. Thankfully, Big Boss was by your side without hesitation hoisting Quiet up into his grasp; the trinket easily forgotten as it clattered to the ground.

You were immediately alarmed when Quiet lost consciousness, barking out orders sharply at whoever was listening, “We need to get her to the Med bay, now!” You turned toward one of the nearby soldiers, “You! Get down to medical and alert my team that we’re coming; possible third degree chemical burns.” You were doing your best to stay calm as you jogged through the familiar stretch of Mother Base with Big Boss and several soldiers on your heels. While the Boss was carrying Quiet you reached over to check Quiet’s vitals; her pupils were still responsive and her heartrate was slightly elevated.

You managed to lead Big Boss down to the Med bay and over to a clean gurney so he could lay Quiet down. You quickly turned to him and the soldiers that had followed, “Alright I need everyone out, now! If you had any contact with Quiet, no matter how small, you need to dispose of your clothing. Especially you, Boss… now move!”

You and your staff were stepping into full protective gear as you began calling out orders, “Emilia, you and I need to get her cleaned up. Jameson, while we’re doing that I need you to dispose of her old clothing; it’s contaminated and beyond salvaging at this point. Find her a sterile medical gown and then prep for a full chest CT scan and an MRI; I need to know the extent of the damage done.”

Your team flew into action and within the hour you were waiting for the CT can to finish developing while running the arduous MRI machine. You needed the best and clearest images of the extent of the damage caused by the Chlorine gas. So far, the obvious damage to the epidermis was severe but you were hopeful that the damage was exclusive to the outer layer of skin. However, two hours later, when the images came through your heart dropped; in fact, you couldn’t believe what you were seeing.   
You looked over to Quiet and noticed that she was still unconscious; her burns would continue to cause her a tremendous amount of pain so it was best to just keep her sedated for the time being. You grabbed the scan images and practically ran back to your office; lining each image against the light source. What you were seeing couldn’t be possible, Quiet’s lungs were completely burned; which would suggest that she suffered massive external and internal burns. The types of wounds that Quiet sustained couldn’t have been caused solely by inhalation of chlorine gas. 

By all means Quiet shouldn’t be alive in her current condition; her lungs were destroyed beyond any hope of repair. And yet, aside from her healing chemical burns, she is in peak physical condition but that was impossible. Her miraculous recovery and health was beyond any form of medicine that you had practiced; that meant that you had to stretch the boundaries of what you knew. She obviously had some sort of augmentations; augmentations that saved her life and built upon her powers making them inhuman. How was she still alive? Her lungs are physically incapable of respiration and yet she was somehow alive.

A thought crossed your mind on other methods of respiration and energy production especially amongst plants and non-mammalian organisms. Then it hit you; her clothing, need for consistent exposure to the sun, and her need for fresh water. Has Quiet been undergoing photosynthesis? That had to be it… she was breathing through her skin to compensate for her crippled lungs. 

You gasped at the revelation and found your eyes roaming over the images before you once more; your eyes zeroed in on one particular spot. There was something on Quiet’s lung, it was either a foreign object or a growth. You sighed wearily as you prepped yourself and your team for surgery it was unfortunate but unavoidable. You needed to determine what you saw on Quiet’s lung and to survey the actual damage that her lungs suffered.

The surgery was both enlightening and conflicting; you had some of your answers but you didn’t know what to make of the situation. Suddenly there was a knock at your door, you opened it to find Ocelot and Kazuhira filing into your office. You didn’t remember asking either of them to stop by the Med bay, “How can I help you?”

Kazuhira cut right to the chase, “Jameson informed us that you performed surgery on Quiet and that the results were rather odd. Care to share?” 

You sighed because you weren’t even sure what you were going to do with the information you had found but Jameson solved that for you. You handed the scans to Ocelot, “Quiet’s lungs are burned beyond recognition but it was more likely due to an actual fire rather than any chemical burns. Since she is unable to breathe normally I hypothesized that she is utilizing Photosynthesis in the absence of proper respiration. Also, there were traces of rubbing alcohol in her alveoli.” You reached behind you and grabbed the small bag sitting there, you passed it to Kazuhira, “This was found adhered to Quiet’s lung; it’s a flower petal. The white star of Bethlehem, I believe…”

Kazuhira gave you a swift nod before exiting, “Thank you, Dr. L/N; this is very helpful.”

You gave Ocelot a quizzical look, “What did Miller mean ‘very helpful’? What’s going on?” 

Ocelot nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders, “I’m not sure but we’ll find out soon enough.” Ocelot leaned down to kiss you passionately before pulling away, “Come on, you look exhausted.”

Over the next few days, you continued to monitor Quiet’s condition as she continued to improve; the following night you discharged her and promised to be by in the morning to check up on her. A faint smile curled her lips and she nodded briefly before disappearing. You were surprised that Ocelot wasn’t already in bed considering how late it was but you were exhausted and thought nothing of it as you drifted off to sleep. You woke in the morning to an empty bed and you tried to brush it off and carry on with your day. 

Private Bishop was waiting outside of your door, “Good morning, Private Bishop. There’s really no need to follow me around today; I’m just going to give Quiet her final checkup.”

Bishop spoke up a little quickly, “In that case Dr. L/N, you might have to wait a little while. Some of the soldiers aid they saw Quiet being taken to one of the lower levels of Mother Base.”

You stiffened slightly, “Do you know how to get there, Bishop? Please, It’s urgent.” He nodded hesitantly before leading you through the many winding structure that made up Mother Base. Bishop led you to a set of double doors but stated that he would prefer to remain outside.

You quickly pushed open the back door that Private Bishop had pointed out to you; what you saw was horrifying. Someone was strapped to a chair, from what you could see the figure appeared to be feminine, a soldier was standing in front of her and pressing two electrified rods into her chest. The sound was deafening and you nearly choked on the smell of burning skin as the soldier continued to deliver shock after shock. You needed to stop this but your feet were carrying you toward the scene too slowly and then you heard a voice. A familiar raspy voice that made your stomach drop, “Are you ready to talk yet?”

It was Ocelot, hearing his voice and knowing that he was the one that was overseeing this torture gave you the courage you had been lacking; you practically stormed over to Ocelot. You were slightly surprised at the seething anger that your voice held, “What the hell is going on here?”

Ocelot looked up at you with a mildly dumbfounded expression, “Y/N? How did you get in here?” Up to this point, he had been so calm and detached; almost as if he enjoyed what was happening or he was indifferent to the pain he was causing. This was a side of Ocelot that you had never witnessed before the man that you had come to love was suddenly someone you didn’t recognize.

You looked over and noticed that it was in fact Quiet who had been strapped to a chair and electrocuted over and over again. You scoffed in anger and unleashed the full force of your gaze on Ocelot, “I was looking for my patient… the one that was discharged not twelve hours ago. Then I find out that the whispers of Quiet being marched down into the bowels of Mother Base were in fact true.”

Before Ocelot could offer any sort of reply, Kazuhira entered the room with Big Boss not far behind, “Anything?”

Ocelot’s voice and demeanor were suddenly cool and collected, “Still living up to her name.”

Kazuhira walked closer to Quiet and eyed her carefully, “Who infected you? Tell me, was it Skull Face?” 

Infected? Quiet was infected with one of the parasites? How could you have missed that? Ocelot stepped forward quickly, “She can’t tell you or she’ll trigger the parasite.” 

You were positively fuming but when you made a move to intervene you were pulled back and held in place by one of the few soldiers in the room. Kazuhira brushed Ocelot off, “All I want is a name. That won’t trigger anything…” 

When Quiet refused to speak a soldier walked over carrying the medical file that you composed on Quiet’s condition. Kazuhira listed off all of your findings but what he said next shocked you, “You were at the hospital back in Cyprus; you tried to kill Big Boss.” Still no answer from Quiet, a soldier walked over with a bucket of water pouring it over Quiet; the reaction was instantaneous. As Quiet’s skin began to burn and she hissed in pain, Kazuhira simply smirked, “Refreshing? It’s salt water…”

You struggled against the soldier detaining you as Code Talker voiced what you were thinking, “Stop… you must stop or she’ll die.”

Kazuhira didn’t even flinch as he crept closer to Quiet, “Did Skull Face send you? Or did you have your own vendetta to settle with the boss?” Quiet continued to writhe in pain, “His life isn’t yours to take.”

Suddenly Ocelot spoke out, “Enough, that’s enough…” When the soldier released his hold on you, you snatched the Ocelot’s canteen and ran over to Quiet pouring the freshwater over her to alleviate some of her pain. 

You walked over to the soldier that had been detaining you, you grabbed his canteen and walked back toward Quiet as Ocelot spoke, “She’s not here to kill the boss, if she was then he’d already be dead. She could have killed any number of us; she’s had plenty of chances.” Ocelot motioned toward Big Boss, “She’s loyal to you now. She’s fallen in love with the legend."

Kazuhira was practically spat at Ocelot, “And what if she’s a spy? What then?”

Ocelot was unfazed, “What if I’m a spy? Or you? Look this could go on all day.” You silently grabbed a knife that was on a nearby table and cut Quiet’s bindings and handing her the canteen. Kazuhira and the Boss had left but you could sense Ocelot’s presence, “Y/N, can we talk?”

You turned toward him and fixed him with a glare, “I have a patient to attend to, sir. Perhaps later…” You didn’t catch the look in Ocelot’s eyes as he quietly left, you looked up at Quiet, “I’m so sorry… this is all my fault.” Quiet smirked and shook her head and you halfheartedly smiled in return.

Code Talker came up to Quiet’s side but addressed you, “This was inevitable and none of the blame belongs to you, child. It is a rare thing to find such a genuine heart especially once it has already been toughened by war.”  
The words nearly brought a tear to your eye, “Thank you…” You turned toward Quiet, “Is there anything else you need?” She simply shook her head and with that you were exiting the building and making a beeline toward your quarters.

You didn’t make it very far before Ocelot spotted you, “Y/N, hold on!”

You stopped and turned around and waited for Ocelot to draw closer before addressing him, “Yes, Major Ocelot, how can I help you?”

He gave you an odd look, when you didn’t acknowledge him casually, “I’m sorry that you had to see that, Y/N, it wasn’t my intention.”

You remained passive, “It wasn’t your intention, sir? Were you ever planning on telling me that you tortured one of my patients, sir?”

Ocelot tried to grab your hand but you pulled away, a flash of hurt crossed his face, “Y/N, after what was found out about Quiet’s past we needed to question her.”

You laughed bitterly, “Question her… Ocelot that was torture and it was one of our allies that you were torturing.”

Ocelot looked deep into your eyes, “We both have military backgrounds and aggressive methods of extracting the truth is nothing new.” You shook your head in disbelief and Ocelot raised his voice, “Employing this type of tactic is hardly new. Y/N, this is who we are…it’s what we do.”

There was a rage inside of you that was slowly building, “No, this is not who we are Ocelot! We are not animals reduced to torturing the people we’re meant to trust. We are better than that. We should be better than that…”

Ocelot stood his ground, “I was doing what was right and I stopped it before it got out of hand.”

There was no warmth in your gaze, “You’re right. You did stop it before it went any further and I respect you for that. But you still let it happen in the first place and that is what I can’t understand.”

Ocelot was getting fired up as well, “We needed answers and sometimes there is only one way to get that information.”

You were on the verge of tears, “And you already knew those answers but you went through with it anyway… why?” He remained silent as you started to cry heavily, “The hardest part was watching you during that interrogation. You were calm… too calm as if this type of situation didn’t bother you. It’s as if I don’t know you… the Adamska that I fell in love with wasn’t in that room. The man in that room back there was a stranger.”

Ocelot tried to cup your cheeks and sooth you, “It’s what I told you before… this is who I am, Y/N.” He paused for a moment to take a deep breath, “You told me once that you loved me, every part of me, did you mean it?” You had so many mixed emotions running through your mind that you couldn’t respond but Ocelot quietly continued, “I love you, Y/N. I’ve never said that to anyone in my entire life… I love you and I don’t want to lose you.”

You were full out crying now as you quickly ducked out of Ocelot’s embrace, “I just need to be alone right now.” You made your way to your quarters ignoring each time that Ocelot called out to you. You needed to be alone and to think.

**Author's Note:**

> *Feedback is always appreciated (Be gentle…) Let me know what you think and let me know if you would like to see this story being continued. And of course your thoughts on how you would like the story to develop. Thanks! I apologize for not posting but my laptop died recently and it was a little tough to get back up and running after that.


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